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Ungkapan-ungkapan atau lebih tepat lagi sindiran dan hinaan yang bakal ku titipkan nanti datangnya dari buku kesukaanku, Garfield's Book of Insult :)... yeah, you read it right, book of insult. Marilah rakan-rakan karipapku, kita pelajari beberapa sindiran dan hinaan yang diajar oleh Garfield.Mungkin kita boleh selitkannya ke dalam kehidupan seharian kita agar hari kita sentiasa ceria-ceria selalu seperti Feel Good channel nt7 :p. Ayo, kita mulakan sesi pembelajaran kita!!!!! Let the bashing and tounge-lashing begin!!
WARNING!!!!! Kepada sesiapa yang ada sakit lemah jantung, gelak berpanjangan dan yang seangkatan dengannya dinasihatkan agar tidak mengikuti kelas ini.
Head.
Is that your head or a hotel for lice?
Hey, Cone Head!! Mind if I play ring toss?
Heard you had your head examined, but they couldn't find anything.
Hair.
I've seen better looking hair in the shower drain.
I've seen nicer hair coming out of my grandma's nose.
Your hairdo really suits your face, they're both UGLY!!!!
Why don't you do something different with your hair? Like wash it.
People who think there's an oil shortage have never seen your hair.
Who does your hair? I want to know who to avoid it.
You'd look better with long hair. Especially if you combed it down over your face.
Face.
Know what goes best with a face like yours? A paper bag.
You've got a face only a mother gorilla could love.
You're not ugly. You're just facially challenged.
You have a face only a plastic surgeon could love!
Hey, Pizza Face!! Is that a pimple or a volcano?
I thought craters that big were only found on the moon!
Your face is like a work of modern art. You can't tell what it is.
You're two-faced. And they're both uglyyy!
I'm not going to say mean things about your looks. Your face speaks for itself.
Nose.
Don't look up! Your big nose might poke a hole in the ozone layer!
If it starts raining, can i stand under your nose to keep dry?
Don't inhale. A schnozz like yours could suck all the oxygen out of the room!
The only thing grosser than your noseis what's inside it.
Ears.
You've got ears like a famous movie star.... Mickey Mouse!!
Hey, Dumbo! Why don't you flap your ears and fly away?
Are those your ears, or did two flying saucers just crash into the sides of your head?
I'm not saying your ears are big, but you could wear earrings made by Michelin!
You've got enough wax in your ears to start your own candle company!
Mouth.
Your mouth's so big, it takes you an hour to put on your lipstick.
Hey, Motor Mouth! Kill your engine!
Your muth oughta come with a mute button!
Hey, Gym Locker Breath! Ever hera of gargling?
Is that your breath, or did you swallow Jon's sweat-socks?
Stop air pollution. Keep your mouth shut!!
Teeth.
Nice teeth... for a beaver.
I've seen nicer teeth in my comb.
Are those braces, or are your teeth under arrest?
Stomach.
Excuse me, sir. When's the baby due?
You're not a fat broad. You're a woman size.
What are you gonna be when you grow up? A physical fat instructor?
The only thing bigger than your stomach is your appetite.
What you lack in brain cells, you make up for in fat cells.
Is that your underwear on the clothesline or a parachute?
You're such a rumpasaurus, when you start to sit down, the chairs beg for mercy.
Legs.
Is it storming out, or is that just your thunder thights clapping together?
Some people look good in shorts. Then there's you.
You've got calves only a cow could love.
Nice legs.... for a flamingo
Feet.
Is there a dead skunk nearby, or did you just take off your shoes?
Want to fight air pollution? Then keep your shoes on.
Your feet are so stinky, you should be charged with sock abuse!
I herad you went barefoot in the park and the stink killed all the trees.
Lookin bad.
I don't know where you got your looks, but I hope you kept the receipt.
Appearances can be deceiving. Or in your case, disgusting.
It's okay to be ugly, but you're overdoing it.
Can I have your picture? I want to scare my sister.
You're so ugly, when you look in the mirror, your reflection throws up!
The last time I saw something like you, I flushed it!
Jon : How did you get to be so lazy, Garfield?
Garfield : Years of hardwork.
Some call it laziness. I call it deep thought.
I'd tell you but I'm too lazy.
Jon : Where are your manners?
Garfield : I left them in my locker.
When I was ten, they ran away from home.
I gave them the day off.
Jon : Are you deaf?
Garfield : I wasn't until you start yelling.
Yes. My ears close whenever your mouth opens.
No, but I'm willing to learn.
Jon : It's time to get up!
Garfield : I just got up yesterday.
Tell morning to comeback later.
I'll rise, but I won't shine.
There's a lot more but malas la nak tulis lagi. Ni pun dah panjang sangat :) Hope it make your day.
Till then, peace out mate!!
WARNING!!!!! Kepada sesiapa yang ada sakit lemah jantung, gelak berpanjangan dan yang seangkatan dengannya dinasihatkan agar tidak mengikuti kelas ini.
Head.
Is that your head or a hotel for lice?
Hey, Cone Head!! Mind if I play ring toss?
Heard you had your head examined, but they couldn't find anything.
Hair.
I've seen better looking hair in the shower drain.
I've seen nicer hair coming out of my grandma's nose.
Your hairdo really suits your face, they're both UGLY!!!!
Why don't you do something different with your hair? Like wash it.
People who think there's an oil shortage have never seen your hair.
Who does your hair? I want to know who to avoid it.
You'd look better with long hair. Especially if you combed it down over your face.
Face.
Know what goes best with a face like yours? A paper bag.
You've got a face only a mother gorilla could love.
You're not ugly. You're just facially challenged.
You have a face only a plastic surgeon could love!
Hey, Pizza Face!! Is that a pimple or a volcano?
I thought craters that big were only found on the moon!
Your face is like a work of modern art. You can't tell what it is.
You're two-faced. And they're both uglyyy!
I'm not going to say mean things about your looks. Your face speaks for itself.
Nose.
Don't look up! Your big nose might poke a hole in the ozone layer!
If it starts raining, can i stand under your nose to keep dry?
Don't inhale. A schnozz like yours could suck all the oxygen out of the room!
The only thing grosser than your noseis what's inside it.
Ears.
You've got ears like a famous movie star.... Mickey Mouse!!
Hey, Dumbo! Why don't you flap your ears and fly away?
Are those your ears, or did two flying saucers just crash into the sides of your head?
I'm not saying your ears are big, but you could wear earrings made by Michelin!
You've got enough wax in your ears to start your own candle company!
Mouth.
Your mouth's so big, it takes you an hour to put on your lipstick.
Hey, Motor Mouth! Kill your engine!
Your muth oughta come with a mute button!
Hey, Gym Locker Breath! Ever hera of gargling?
Is that your breath, or did you swallow Jon's sweat-socks?
Stop air pollution. Keep your mouth shut!!
Teeth.
Nice teeth... for a beaver.
I've seen nicer teeth in my comb.
Are those braces, or are your teeth under arrest?
Stomach.
Excuse me, sir. When's the baby due?
You're not a fat broad. You're a woman size.
What are you gonna be when you grow up? A physical fat instructor?
The only thing bigger than your stomach is your appetite.
What you lack in brain cells, you make up for in fat cells.
Is that your underwear on the clothesline or a parachute?
You're such a rumpasaurus, when you start to sit down, the chairs beg for mercy.
Legs.
Is it storming out, or is that just your thunder thights clapping together?
Some people look good in shorts. Then there's you.
You've got calves only a cow could love.
Nice legs.... for a flamingo
Feet.
Is there a dead skunk nearby, or did you just take off your shoes?
Want to fight air pollution? Then keep your shoes on.
Your feet are so stinky, you should be charged with sock abuse!
I herad you went barefoot in the park and the stink killed all the trees.
Lookin bad.
I don't know where you got your looks, but I hope you kept the receipt.
Appearances can be deceiving. Or in your case, disgusting.
It's okay to be ugly, but you're overdoing it.
Can I have your picture? I want to scare my sister.
You're so ugly, when you look in the mirror, your reflection throws up!
The last time I saw something like you, I flushed it!
SNAPPY COMEBACK
Jon : I have a date :)
Garfield : Oh, did she escape from the asylum?
Give my regards to your mom.
Jon : I really think you should diet this week.
Garfield : Sorry, I only diet between meals.
I can't diet for medical reasons. It makes me hungry.
I would, but our ignored desserts might develop low self-esteem.
Jon : You should exercise more.
Garfield : Okay, I'll exercise my right not to exercise.
I prefer lay-downs to sit-ups.
Sorry, but I don't believe in self-abuse.
I beleive in conserving energy.. especially my own
Jon : How did you get to be so lazy, Garfield?
Garfield : Years of hardwork.
Some call it laziness. I call it deep thought.
I'd tell you but I'm too lazy.
Jon : Where are your manners?
Garfield : I left them in my locker.
When I was ten, they ran away from home.
I gave them the day off.
Jon : Are you deaf?
Garfield : I wasn't until you start yelling.
Yes. My ears close whenever your mouth opens.
No, but I'm willing to learn.
Jon : It's time to get up!
Garfield : I just got up yesterday.
Tell morning to comeback later.
I'll rise, but I won't shine.
There's a lot more but malas la nak tulis lagi. Ni pun dah panjang sangat :) Hope it make your day.
Till then, peace out mate!!
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